Sunday, April 25, 2010

Whats the point?!?!?!?!

Well, what goes on in my world at the moment?! i am currently sitting on the couch in the rumpus room, waiting for my friends to show up for a movie night...even though they were supposed to be here an hour ago and no one has msged or called to let me know they are no longer coming or that they shall be late. I dont know why i even bother anymore....

We were always the closest of friends, hanign out 24/7, always there when one of us needed help, when there was a problem, or when something good or exciting happened in our lives, we would discuss everything - no matter how private. We were always there...

How did we get here, to a place where we are never there for each other, to a place where showing up late or not at all is at all acceptable, that a 21 year old girl sits on a couch sourounded by movies and food just waiting for that txt of call from a friend, or even for them just to show up when she knows deep inside that no one is coming. Ho is it ever acceptable to forget a friend like that, and for it to be done so effortlessly by all.

I hate that i give them my trust, my faith, my life...i shouldn't be here, on this couch, in this room, waiting for something, anything...i should be out, living life, having fun, not being depressed and alone...so why cant i get up, why cant i brake the cycle?!?!

Do i do this to myself?!?
Do i push people away?!?!
Am i the cuse of this?!?!
How can i change it?!?!
How can i be happy?!?!

Life is a bitch and then you die...

~ Krysten ~

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